Bittersweet Days

Had my Daddy lived he would have been 86 today.  He wasn’t much for fanfare or big celebrations.  How he loved his family, though, and so he would have suffered through a loud obnoxious gathering of hooligans to celebrate.  If we were having a cake for him I would be scrambling to find birthday candles and end up settling for one large home decor candle as a stand in.  We’re fancy that way.

I miss him terribly.

His logical way of looking at an issue, his quiet reassurance that everything would be ok ending with the famous statement, “at least nobody got hurt”.

One time I was able to use that line to my advantage.

When I first got my driver’s license there was an incident with the nearly new family car, backing out of a garage and a side view mirror that was rendered unusable.  I knew he would be, ahem, less than pleased with the fact that the side view mirror was dangling in a peculiar fashion.  So I did what any red blooded American teenaged chicken of a girl would do.  I wrote him a note and left it on his chair to be found when he got home from work.  I pulled out all the stops, filled it with flowery language about what a great daddy he was and assured him that “nobody got hurt” which, I reminded him, was the gold standard to which we all aspired. By the time he got to the end of the note he was so relieved that it was “only” the side view mirror that all hard feelings were averted.  Phew!

He would tease one of my sisters (who will remain nameless). Oh wait, I’ve told you about my one and only sister before-Karen.  If she made a sandwich and walked away for a minute he would nibble the tiniest corner and sneak away. When Kar would see this she would try and get him to confess but he always said it must have been a mouse.  She did not find this as amusing as I did but then I am a mean older sister.

And so this is a bittersweet day.  Happy because he was part of our lives for many years but sad because I can’t go talk his ears off.

Coupled with that, tomorrow is the anniversary of my Mom’s death. Missing her and yet grateful for her as well. Thankful that concerning both of them I have no regrets.

Gratefulness matters!


  1. Lynn says:

    Oh, Cindi,my friend, my friend,

    A bittersweet day, yes, I feel it with you. I was already considering tomorrow’s anniversary when I saw your post. We had special Daddys and Moms, too. 😉 The sadness is there, however, the blessing is greater.

    I love you so, always, Lynn

  2. Juli says:

    Sounds kind of like the “ghost in the graveyard” issue. Your husband seems to be following right in your dad’s footsteps.

  3. Kate says:

    Bob was a onne of the BEST of the BEST . The poor guy went bald because of the three women he lived with. I can see him in his chair, with a can of Strohs, his newspaper, and scratching his head listening to what you three were talking about. But I must say I think Nancy and I had something to add to his Baldness. Some best memories are our summers in Livonia. He was the smartest person ever, if there was a question we had, Bob knew the answer to everything. I cherish every memory of Bob, and of course his right hand person, Jeanie. You can hardly think of one without the other. I loved them both with my whole heart, and miss them as much.

  4. Evon Burack says:

    Hi Cindy,
    Great to know you have fond memories of your parents. It must help to ease the sadness that they aren’t around anymore. I, too, reflect often about my parents. It certainly helps with the feelings of missing them.
    Take care!

  5. Nancy Bauer says:

    If ever there was a couple well matched, it was your Mom and Dad! The summers we spent at your house in Livonia could only be remembered as some of the best vacations we had! I believe, it was your Mom and Dad that made our days so much fun. What a fun loving time we always had! Miss them very much.

  6. Cathy says:

    Sweet Cindi…I think of your Mom and Dad often. Such good, good people. You are truly blessed to have had them for your parents. They raised a good girl, actually…two good girls. Have a smile on my face right now. Loved them both dearly.

  7. Debra Freer says:

    LOVE THIS Cindi, love you much…hold on to those good memories… our Dads were the best!!
    miss you
    Deb Freer

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