If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Scare ‘Em!

I think I was a pretty nice kid.  Growing up with one younger sister in a neighborhood filled with other nice kids helped.  We played and ran and rode bikes and caught fireflies and drove our parents crazy as much as possible.  They were mostly nice parents so for the most part life was pretty good.

There was one family, yes THAT family, that didn’t seem to fit that description.  And within that family there seemed to be one kid who was, shall we say, less nice than all the other members of his seemingly not so nice family.  We referred to DB as a bully and avoided him at all costs.  He didn’t play with us, never joined our games but never extorted money for walking past his house. He wasn’t bigger or more clever in any way but he had a smart mouth.

We avoided him at all costs.

I wish we hadn’t.

I wish someone in our group would have invited him to join our games, just as Rudolph was eventually invited to join the other reindeer.  It probably would have made a difference.

One weekend our parents went on a golf outing. One of our Grandmas was enlisted to ride herd on Kar and myself.  The usual band of suspects were out running and playing outside.

DB walked by and made a disparaging remark to my sister.  Ok.  He called her a name. I don’t remember the name but it set me off.  I chased him.

photo credit: Walraven via photopin cc

photo credit: Walraven via photopin cc

And caught him.  (Either of those would have been surprising but the combination was truly remarkable).

I got him down on the ground and started beating him up.  When I say beating him up it is unlikely that I even landed a punch or did any harm.  I remember being ringed by loyal supporters cheering me on to victory.  There was no mob mentality.  No one else joined the fracas.  I believe I yelled at him and told him that we were all sick of his being a bully and he wasn’t going to do that any more.

There was an incredulous look on his face and I’m sure on mine as well. The hullabaloo got the attention of Grandma, who rushed out of the house and advised me that I was to get off of DB. Immediately. She probably saved me from imminent danger as he had now recovered from the shock of my bravado.  The melee was over.  And, surprisingly, the bullying on his part came to a halt.

I am not condoning violence.

The surprise factor has it’s merits.  So does having a Grandma come to the rescue when one has done something without considering the potential for disaster.

Scare ’em, don’t scar ’em.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my one and only involvement in a physical altercation.


This entry was posted in Funny.


  1. Cathy says:

    I am positive I know who you are talking about. I don’t remember the altercation, was I there? Was it Grandma B. or Gram B? Both lovely ladies. 🙂

    • Cindi says:

      Yes, I’m sure you do. No, I don’t remember you being there and it was Grandma B who eventually was called Grandma the Great. 🙂

  2. Claire says:

    Oh how I remember, the good old days, of our neighborhood filled, with lots of children at play. Most families back then where quite big, averaging 4 to 6 in a family, Our family had 11, and I am the youngest. Yes there is always, 1 that will stand out, and not because he was angel… Tony was his name, a little Dickens 🙂 always up to no good. Two things stand out clear in my mind, one being late fall, it had snowed and my father had built a beautiful staircase in our home, at the top of the staircase he left a window wide open, with no screen in, so the protection would dry. he had just finished putting the last coat of protection on, when a big snowball came rolling down the stairs, bet you can’t guess who did that!! and 2nd, Tony’s sister had informed me that, Tony had gone snow skiing, I said, as I laughed, I hope he breaks a leg… Sure enough, he came home with a broken leg!! As I walked down the sidewalk in front of him, he tripped me, with that big cast he had on his leg, I fell flat on my face on the cement before me, it knocked all my front teeth loose,(did not loose any Thank God)
    I got up and ran home, a pile of blood lay on the cement, Tony was scared at what had happened, and felt really bad, came to see if I was ok.. That was the last time, little Dickens, was a little Dickens, he became a little Angel!!!!! Scared he was….

    • Cindi says:

      I had not heard of this little darling! Seems there is one in every neighborhood. When Kar and I walked yesterday she reminded me of other of DB’s antics.

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