To comment or not to comment-
That is the question.
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the forgotten sling which should be worn after shoulder surgery or to remind the patient is definitely a sea of trouble-either way!
I don’t like seeing you suffer. I am struggling in a different way.
It’s a fine line that the caretaker walks.
When one sees a loved one doing something that could possibly be injurious and one has said something repeatedly one could be accused of nagging. Often, however, the patient is unaware that he or she is doing something that could cause further injury.
“To grunt and sweat under a weary life,” is yet another line from Hamlet’s soliloquy that fits quite nicely as the description of caretaker. Worry compounds the grunting, sweating and weariness.
As MOMD has continued to heal from his surgery I have had a lot of time to think about the process and the role of caretaker. I’m grateful to have had the flexible schedule that has afforded me the opportunity to be home. Not all caretakers are so fortunate.
I have thought about my parents often during these last few months. My Dad had struggled with deteriorating health for years and my Mom handled it with grace and an uncomplaining spirit. Looking back I think she was scared but never let on. Scared she wouldn’t be able to do the things for Dad that he needed. Scared that she would do too much. Scared she would do too little. She rarely asked for help and truly lived out the part of her wedding vows-in sickness and in health.
MOMDs shoulder stuff has not been life threatening. His surgeries were elective but still I worried and prayed. He had to be put under anesthetic and that, in and of itself, is frightening.
Making sure we followed the post op instructions seemed daunting at times-and they were simple!
Ice on. Ice off.
Don’t move your arm like that.
Are you comfortable?
It makes me sad to see you in pain.
When I think of what close friends and family have gone through it boggles my mind. Ours, while a somewhat unpleasant journey, is nothing compared to what others have walked through.
Are you caretaker for someone now or have you been in the past?
What helped? What have you done to assist someone else?
Thank you for reading.