Many of you know that MOMD (Man of My Dreams) had shoulder surgery twice since the beginning of the year.
I alluded to some of the struggles in an earlier post. Take a minute, if you’d like, to read it here.
The first surgery went marvelously. Physical therapy was a regular part of life. And then an incorrect move or repetitive motion caused a problem. A big problem, as in a second surgery was needed.
After the second surgery we went for the post op appointment with MOMD’s amazing surgeon. And we spoke honestly with him and some of his office staff and nurses about how this is a difficult thing.
We explained that if you have been blessed with relatively good health and then something happens to upset the apple cart new uncharted territory must be navigated. Nobody really tells you how to get through this stuff.
The recovery for this particular surgery is long and much patience and restraint is required if a full recovery is desired.
All in all MOMD has had a positive attitude and tried really hard not to complain. He’s kept the sling on, exercised with care and done as much around the house as he is able to do.
We’ve kept the lines of communication open for the most part. I’m sharing this because I’m not sure we talk about these things enough. We try to muddle along, thinking we are the only ones going through something tough. Of course, intellectually, we know that isn’t accurate.
We just may think our reactions are unique. As a caregiver, throughout this situation, I have watched my very dear husband walk through this recovery with humor, frustration, gratefulness and patience.
I’ve paraphrased some of the stuff he has expressed but repeatedly he has thanked me many times for taking care of him.
What are some things I’ve heard over the last few months?
I’m doing the best I can at this point.
I don’t like needing or asking for help.
I’m concerned about how this will impact my (our) future…and the present isn’t exactly all that fun, come to think of it.
You are hovering, nagging, in my way, even though I know you are trying to help.
I don’t like that I can’t help with that and that you have to do so much.
There was so much information to process before the surgery.
There was so much information to process after the surgery.
Recovery takes longer than I imagined it would.
I need to find a different way to do this.
My conclusion: Being a patient requires patience.
Thank you for reading!