Thankful Thursday_Jeff Is So Boring

Odd name for a post, isn’t it?  Admit it.  You aren’t surprised by anything you see here.

Have you ever had a situation that seemed so inconsequential at the time but impacted your life in an absolutely monumental way?

Something that happened to me many years ago while I was in college was just one of those times.  I’m writing about it for Thankful Thursday-Event because it changed me.

I lived in a flat with 3 other students my last year of college.  We were all very involved in a campus ministry group at the time, which is where we met.

Sue and I happened to be home one afternoon and sat down to have a nice little chat.  Nothing earth shattering.  And then I made a simple comment in passing.

Jeff is so boring.

Seems rather innocuous, right?

Sue started to cry.

What?  Jeff was not her boyfriend.  He was just a mutual acquaintance.  Why in the world was she crying?

Perplexed, I apologized for making her cry.  She went on to explain that she was not mad at me but was so upset by how often we say things about another person. Not even necessarily bad stuff.  Just unnecessary stuff.  Useless comments that don’t need to be spoken.

Her explanation struck a chord in me that I have never forgotten.  It so profoundly touched me that my perspective about gossip changed instantly that day.

Unfortunately, I have gossiped since that day.  I have said things about people (maybe even factual things) that I had no business saying.

Not breaking a confidence.  Statements that added no value. And each time I am reminded that whether I found Jeff to be boring or not was not the point.

If I think your purple dress hideous or so and so’s choice poor or Joe’s cooking bland, how am I helping by commenting?

It is why we worked hard to allow no tattling as the hooligans were growing (unless loss of life or limb were involved).  As I would ask of them (and of myself equally as often):

Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?

No? Then please do not mention it.

How thankful I am that Sue was so sad about my comment!  If I knew how to get ahold of her I would tell her.

For what are you thankful today?

8 comments

    • Cindi says:

      Thank you Jill! I still don’t know why I needed to make such a rude comment in the first place but how thankful I was for Suzie’s tender heart!

  1. April Thomas says:

    So many times I have spoken just like you describe. What a blessing that your friend cried and you became aware of the power of your words.
    I really enjoy reading your blog!

    • Cindi says:

      April,
      Thank you so much for stopping by, reading and leaving a comment! It truly was an eye-opening experience and it happened more decades ago than I care to admit! 🙂 I so appreciate your kind words!

  2. Linda says:

    Things ( lies ) were said about and to me years ago about something I had no control over. I will never forget what was said and can only hope the people that said it learned not to judge one person for another’s actions. And I thought they were my friends. I haven’t seen them in many years. I do my absolute best to not judge. Cindi, you are one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever met. Just wanted you to know that.

    • Cindi says:

      Thank you! Why we (I) think we have the right and need to comment on someone else’s actions is just wrong on so many levels. When I have misjudged someone I hardly ever have all the facts. I don’t know what they have gone through so why don’t I just be quiet and pray instead?! Again, thank you for stopping here, commenting but ESPECIALLY for your very nice comments.

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