Deb had her van in the driveway because she just had to determine that the bolt I brought over was indeed the one for the bike rack. Her next door neighbor came over to see if she needed help. She explained the story of the swaying bike rack and the long lost bolt. He helped confirm that the bolt does secure the bike rack in exactly the correct way.
Ron even had a socket wrench of the exact size in the van from our last bike trip.
Why am I making such a big deal of this, you may ask.
For a few reasons.
I am proud of Deb. When we sustain any type of loss we often want to isolate ourselves and stop doing EVERYTHING. My courageous friend is pressing on even though her heart is broken. She misses her best friend tremendously and that ache will never go away.
Does she need time to grieve alone? Yep.
Would it be easier to close off the world, draw the curtains (dating myself here) and do nothing? Yep, again.
Instead she tackles little things that she hasn’t had to do before.
She’s learning new things, facing new challenges and doing the hard work.
Her neighbors, family and friends are there for her but she has to go on graciously accepting help when it is offered and that’s what she has done. Not easy for a nurturer.
In her circle of friends there are at least 4 other people of approximately the same age that have lost spouses within the last few years. We are not talking “elderly” people here.
They support one another and have a sense of the incredible pain. There is laughter. Making of new memories. A willingness to go on.
Attempting to do something like figure out how to put the bike rack on the van because some day she may want to ride again is an act of courage.
This all has me thinking, as you may have noticed. That is why the bolt, while a small object, actually is a big deal.