Why Not Why?

I got in the habit of saying I no longer ask why questions.  I made this point because, to my way of thinking, either there is usually no good answer to a why question or the answer is so obvious as to be absurd.  However two people called me out on this.  Both made the point that I couch my why questions in other language but they are still why questions.  (You two know who you are). I responded to both with the same one word reply.  “Perhaps.”

I am going to throw caution to the wind and share some perplexing why questions that have crossed my mind.  Please leave a favorite why question in the comment section so more of us may scratch our heads in wonder.

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Why does butter pecan ice cream taste better than brussels sprouts?

I am sorry if you are a brussels sprouts farmer or work in the packaging or shipping end of this vegetable. I do not mean to offend you. Do you agree that butter pecan (or almost any flavor other than brussels sprout) ice cream is much tastier than the weird textured little cabbage that supports you?

 Irregardless

Why do people use irregardless?

When I hear this used in conversation it is difficult for me to avoid sneering and adopting a “holier than thou” look. However, I came across an interesting article in my research. The author espouses that irregardless is a word but that is considered nonstandard. My spell checker advises that irregardless is not a word (dreaded red underlining) but it does the same thing for brussels of brussels sprouts. I see a pattern developing here.

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Why are weeds more prolific than my pitiful attempt at grass?

Are the weeds unaware they are not welcome? I dare not pull them because then I would have only sand and dirt in my yard. The weeds add greenery to a pitiful attempt at landscaping.

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Why do road repair crews set up 5 miles worth of cones on an expressway to repair a patch of cement only 100 feet in length?

I believe this is because the road equipment comes equipped with hidden cameras to record frustrated drivers attempting to reach a location in a reasonable amount of time.

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Why can’t I come close to winning at 2048?

I have tried multiple strategies.  Confession is good for the soul…I spend way too much time trying to beat this game.  Because I like you I will give you this simple advice:  If you have not played DO NOT START!  Step away from your App Store now.

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Why are there more pens in the house that don’t work than do?

A follow up question to this one might be: Why do we keep the non-working pens?  Do we live under the false assumption that if a non-working pen sits long enough it will repair itself?

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Why would anyone want to be President of the United States?

The way I see it once a person is elected to the highest office of the land he or she loses many basic freedoms such as flying on a commercial airplane, hanging Christmas lights on the outside of the house or fueling the family vehicle.

Does the First Family even own a vehicle?  Somehow I don’t seen any of the last 5 or 6 Commanders-In-Chief saying to the First Lady, “Hey, I’ll be right back.  Going to head over to Publix and pick up a sub.  Do you need anything?”

Why can I sing word for word a song I haven’t heard in decades and yet fail to remember the item for which I walked into the living room?

I’ve told you before that my talents do not include a melodious voice but I know the words to songs that were popular during my junior high days.  I listened to many of the songs hundreds of times but come on, people!  Let’s just say it was before iPods were even a twinkle in Steve Jobs’ eyes.

And that item I walked across my tiny house to get?origin_137230731

I just thought about it 30 seconds before and by the time I arrive in the living room the thought has vanished like the second to last cookie on a tray at a potluck.
On one such occasion my blank expression gave me away.
Unfortunately one of the hooligans was in the room to witness this spectacle. Without batting an eye or looking up from his x-box game he said, “You forgot what you came in here for, didn’t you?”  Smarty Pants.

And my last in this series of why questions:

Why does our coffee pot wear out quicker than our exercise equipment ?

Never mind.

 

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